Cooking on Cloud Wine

Tag: Tag2

  • These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

    These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

    It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

    What… is your quest?

    The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Look, my liege! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

    • The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
    • Shut up! Will you shut up?!
    • Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone!

    First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

    Shut up! Will you shut up?! Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, I didn’t vote for you. It’s only a model. I have to push the pram a lot.

    Blue. No, yel…

    Where’d you get the coconuts? And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. What a strange person. Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. You don’t vote for kings.

    1. Who’s that then?
    2. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.
    3. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!
    4. Be quiet!
    5. We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us.
    First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

    Well, I didn’t vote for you. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Who’s that then? I’m not a witch. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

    Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Well, she turned me into a newt. A newt? No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.

  • Kids Were Abusing This Poor Dog With Sticks. They Had No Idea What Was About To Happen… OMG

    Kids Were Abusing This Poor Dog With Sticks. They Had No Idea What Was About To Happen… OMG

    You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. You hit me with a cricket bat. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!

    The Unicorn and the Wasp

    I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me!

    • Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!
    • It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

    Forest of the Dead

    The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

    Midnight

    *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You hit me with a cricket bat. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

    1. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens!
    2. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?
    3. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better?
    4. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
    The Impossible Astronaut

    Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

    Journey’s End

    I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. You’ve swallowed a planet! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens!

  • 18 Animals With Ridiculously Misleading Names. Where Did They Come Up With These?

    18 Animals With Ridiculously Misleading Names. Where Did They Come Up With These?

    Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

    What… is your quest?

    Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean?

    • Camelot!
    • Burn her!
    • We want a shrubbery!!
    • Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    I’m not dead!

    Why? Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! We want a shrubbery!!

    Bridgekeeper

    Burn her! On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. I’m not a witch.

    1. On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.
    2. Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
    Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    Where’d you get the coconuts? And the hat. She’s a witch! On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! How do you know she is a witch?

    What… is your quest?

    …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. Burn her anyway!

  • This Photographer And Her Bunny Have Epic Photo Shoots. It’s Just Too Cute.

    This Photographer And Her Bunny Have Epic Photo Shoots. It’s Just Too Cute.

    Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

    Mr. F

    He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Marry me.

    • I’ve opened a door here that I regret.
    • That’s why you always leave a note!
    • He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.
    • He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

    Pier Pressure

    I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Steve Holt! First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians.

    Afternoon delight

    Across from where? What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.

    1. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.
    2. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
    3. Across from where?
    Exit Strategy

    I’m a monster. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Michael! No… but I’d like to be asked! I care deeply for nature.

    Good Grief!

    It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Michael! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.