Cooking on Cloud Wine

Category: Miscellaneous

  • This Culture Mourns Their Lost Loved Ones With A Unique Burial Process.

    This Culture Mourns Their Lost Loved Ones With A Unique Burial Process.

    OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.

    The Cyber House Rules

    Ummm…to eBay? Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.

    • I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
    • I’m Santa Claus!
    • Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.

    Xmas Story

    With gusto. Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!

    Attack of the Killer App

    But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

    1. Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
    2. Meh.
    3. If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right.
    In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela

    Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Ooh, name it after me! Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!

    Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences

    Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! I never loved you.

  • 8 Heartbreaking Pictures That Will Make You Appreciate Life

    8 Heartbreaking Pictures That Will Make You Appreciate Life

    Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. He taught me a code. To survive. You’re a killer. I catch killers. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter.

    Road Kill

    God created pudding, and then he rested. You all right, Dexter? I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

    • This man is a knight in shining armor.
    • This man is a knight in shining armor.
    • God created pudding, and then he rested.

    The Lion Sleeps Tonight

    Cops, another community I’m not part of. This man is a knight in shining armor. This man is a knight in shining armor.

    First Blood

    I’m really more an apartment person. This man is a knight in shining armor. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You all right, Dexter? I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. I am not a killer.

    1. God created pudding, and then he rested.
    2. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex!
    3. You all right, Dexter?
    4. Cops, another community I’m not part of.
    Teenage Wasteland

    I’m generally confused most of the time. Like a sloth. I can do that. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized.

    The British Invasion

    Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. You all right, Dexter?

  • This Is The Damage A Presidential Term Or Two Can Do. Look At Those Wrinkles!

    This Is The Damage A Presidential Term Or Two Can Do. Look At Those Wrinkles!

    Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

    Army of Ghosts

    You’ve swallowed a planet! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

    • You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
    • Saving the world with meals on wheels.
    • You’ve swallowed a planet!
    • I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

    Vincent and the Doctor

    I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

    The Empty Child

    I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

    1. Saving the world with meals on wheels.
    2. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.
    Evolution of the Daleks

    Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

    Vincent and the Doctor

    Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. Saving the world with meals on wheels. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

  • This Photographer And Her Bunny Have Epic Photo Shoots. It’s Just Too Cute.

    This Photographer And Her Bunny Have Epic Photo Shoots. It’s Just Too Cute.

    Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

    Mr. F

    He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Marry me.

    • I’ve opened a door here that I regret.
    • That’s why you always leave a note!
    • He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.
    • He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

    Pier Pressure

    I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Steve Holt! First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians.

    Afternoon delight

    Across from where? What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.

    1. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.
    2. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
    3. Across from where?
    Exit Strategy

    I’m a monster. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Michael! No… but I’d like to be asked! I care deeply for nature.

    Good Grief!

    It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Michael! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.