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  • What This Man Did For The Woman He Loves Makes Everyone Else Look Bad.

    What This Man Did For The Woman He Loves Makes Everyone Else Look Bad.

    What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Michael! Marry me. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

    Afternoon delight

    Steve Holt! Across from where? Really? Did nothing cancel? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. I’m a monster. That’s why you always leave a note!

    • That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’
    • I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

    Ready, Aim, Marry Me

    Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Marry me. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

    Pier Pressure

    I’ve opened a door here that I regret. We just call it a sausage. I care deeply for nature. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

    1. Marry me.
    2. Really? Did nothing cancel?
    3. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.
    4. Across from where?
    5. We just call it a sausage.
    Pier Pressure

    Whoa, this guy’s straight? There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.

    Good Grief!

    Guy’s a pro. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.

  • 27 Truly Terrifying Tattoos That Will Haunt

    27 Truly Terrifying Tattoos That Will Haunt

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  • How To Make Swiss Cheese Soup

    Ingredients

    6 cups chicken stock
    10 cloves garlic, crushed
    4 tablespoons unsalted butter
    4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
    1/2 cup white wine
    2 1/2 cups shredded Swiss cheese

    Directions

    Place the stock in a large pot over high heat. Bring to a boil, stir in the garlic and reduce heat to low.

    In separate skillet over medium heat, combine the butter and flour and stir well for a few minutes. Add the garlic and stock mixture along with the wine, stirring constantly. Bring to a boil to thicken.

    Stir in the cheese and serve immediately. (Do NOT allow to boil once cheese has been added, and do not allow to sit long or the cheese will separate out.)

  • Savory Deviled Eggs

    Ingredients

    6 hard-cooked eggs
    1/4 cup mayonnaise
    1 teaspoon white wine vinegar
    1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
    1/2 teaspoon dill weed
    1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
    1/8 teaspoon salt
    Fresh dill sprigs

    Directions

    Slice eggs in half lengthwise; remove yolks and set whites aside. In a small bowl, mash yolks. Add the mayonnaise, vinegar, mustard, dill, garlic powder and salt.

    Spoon into egg whites. Garnish with dill sprigs if desired. Refrigerate until serving.