Cooking on Cloud Wine

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  • Recipe For Tomato-Cornbread Salad with Avocado and Cilantro

    Ingredients

    5 cups 1/2-inch cubed cornbread made from an 8.5-ounce box mix
    1 1/2 pounds tomatoes, stemmed and cut into medium dice
    salt, to taste
    2 medium garlic cloves, minced
    1/2 large red onion, cut into small dice
    1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
    2 ripe avocados cut into medium dice
    1/4 cup olive oil
    2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
    Ground black pepper, to taste

    Directions

    Adjust oven rack to center position and heat oven to 250 degrees.

    Place cornbread cubes on a cookie sheet with a rim; bake until bread is dried out, about 30 minutes, then set aside to cool.

    Salt the tomatoes, stir in the garlic and let stand until juicy, about 30 minutes.

    Prepare remaining ingredients; toss with tomatoes. Add bread; toss. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

  • These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

    These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

    It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

    What… is your quest?

    The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Look, my liege! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

    • The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
    • Shut up! Will you shut up?!
    • Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone!

    First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

    Shut up! Will you shut up?! Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, I didn’t vote for you. It’s only a model. I have to push the pram a lot.

    Blue. No, yel…

    Where’d you get the coconuts? And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. What a strange person. Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. You don’t vote for kings.

    1. Who’s that then?
    2. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.
    3. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!
    4. Be quiet!
    5. We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us.
    First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

    Well, I didn’t vote for you. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Who’s that then? I’m not a witch. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

    Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Well, she turned me into a newt. A newt? No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.

  • These 20 Redesigned Movie Posters Are Even Cooler Than The Movies… WOW.

    These 20 Redesigned Movie Posters Are Even Cooler Than The Movies… WOW.

    I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

    Radioactive Man

    Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. You don’t win friends with salad. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

    • Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
    • Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?
    • Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

    Rosebud

    Ahoy hoy? I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

    Cape Feare

    Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.

    1. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
    2. This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
    3. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
    The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

    I hope I didn’t brain my damage. Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box…

    Duffless

    I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. I was saying “Boo-urns.” Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*

  • What This Man Is Caught Doing Looks Absolutely Horrifying At First. But Check This Out… Unreal

    What This Man Is Caught Doing Looks Absolutely Horrifying At First. But Check This Out… Unreal

    Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. I’m partial to air conditioning. Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. Makes me a … scientist.

    Finding Freebo

    I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. This man is a knight in shining armor. You all right, Dexter?

    • Tell him time is of the essence.
    • I’m really more an apartment person.

    Road Kill

    I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me.

    An Inconvenient Lie

    Tell him time is of the essence. Cops, another community I’m not part of. Watching ice melt. This is fun. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

    1. This man is a knight in shining armor.
    2. I’m doing mental jumping jacks.
    3. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see.
    Do You Take Morgan?

    You all right, Dexter? God created pudding, and then he rested. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Makes me a … scientist.

    Dex, Lies, and Videotape

    You all right, Dexter? Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. I have a dark side, too. I have a dark side, too.