Cooking on Cloud Wine

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  • This Flock Of Sheep Is Very Real, Even Though It Looks Like A Hallucination.

    This Flock Of Sheep Is Very Real, Even Though It Looks Like A Hallucination.

    Burn her anyway! Well, we did do the nose. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.

    Am I right?

    I am your king. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? How do you know she is a witch?

    • Be quiet!
    • Bring her forward!
    • Oh, ow!
    • Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    We want a shrubbery!!

    But you are dressed as one… And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. It’s only a model. Now, look here, my good man. I dunno. Must be a king. A newt?

    First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

    Why? Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! How do you know she is a witch? He hasn’t got shit all over him. Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, how’d you become king, then?

    1. I dunno. Must be a king.
    2. Bring her forward!
    Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    Shut up! Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Bring her forward! You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

    What… is your quest?

    I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! What do you mean? Burn her! Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical! What a strange person. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart.

  • The Ghosts of Chernobyl Live In This Creepy Amusement Park. Can I Go??

    The Ghosts of Chernobyl Live In This Creepy Amusement Park. Can I Go??

    Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful! I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? I love you, buddy!

    The Deep South

    Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Say it in Russian! You lived before you met me?! Ooh, name it after me! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. Why would a robot need to drink?

    • Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo!
    • You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see!
    • Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.

    I Second That Emotion

    It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? It must be wonderful. You’re going to do his laundry? In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms. I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan!

    Put Your Head on my Shoulder

    You know, I was God once. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.

    1. THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!
    2. Calculon is gonna kill us and it’s all everybody else’s fault!
    3. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
    4. I love you, buddy!
    Anthology of Interest I

    Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you!

    Anthology of Interest I

    Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. I never loved you. Take me to your leader! Hey, whatcha watching?

  • Recipe For Lobster Tenderloin

    Ingredients

    1 (3 pound) whole beef tenderloin
    2 lobster tails
    1 tablespoon butter, melted
    6 slices bacon
    1 cup sliced green onions
    1 cup butter
    1 cup dry white wine
    1/8 teaspoon garlic salt
    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Directions

    Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

    Place bacon in a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook for just a few minutes, until just partly cooked. Set aside.

    Meanwhile, bring a pot of lightly salted water to a rolling boil. Add lobster tails, and boil for 5 to 6 minutes, until colored. Drain, and cool slightly. Remove shells by snipping up the center with scissors, and peeling away to the side.

    Slice a large pocket into the side of the tenderloin. (A butcher can do this for you also) Stuff the lobster tails into the pocket. Combine 1 tablespoon of butter and lemon juice; pour over the lobster tails. Close the pocket, and tie the roast closed with cotton string at 1 inch intervals. Place the roast in a shallow roasting pan.

    Bake for about 35 minutes in the preheated oven for rare, or continue to roast to your desired degree of doneness. The internal temperature of the roast should be at least 145 degrees F (70 degrees C) for rare. Lay bacon over the top of the roast, and continue baking until crisp.

    Melt remaining 1 cup of butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add green onion, wine and garlic salt. Cook until onion is tender. Slice the roast, and arrange on a platter. Spoon sauce over the meat.

  • Recipe For Absolutely The Best Shrimp Scampi

    Ingredients

    1/2 cup all-purpose flour
    1/4 teaspoon salt
    1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
    1 1/2 pounds fresh shrimp, shelled and deveined without tails
    1/2 cup olive oil
    4 cloves garlic, minced
    1 shallot, chopped
    1/2 cup fresh parsley, minced
    1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, crushed
    2 tablespoons white wine
    2 tablespoons brandy

    Directions

    In a small bowl, combine flour, salt, pepper and cayenne pepper. Mix thoroughly. Dredge shrimp in flour mixture.

    In a large skillet, saute dredged shrimp in olive oil for 5 minutes over high heat. Toss shrimp often to prevent burning. Transfer shrimp with a slotted spoon to a serving dish, leaving the oil in the pan.

    In the same pan, saute the garlic, shallot, parsley and oregano over medium heat for 3 minutes; stirring constantly. Spoon the mixture over the shrimp. Return pan to the heat. Preheat your broiler for medium heat.

    Pour the wine and brandy into the skillet and ignite with a match or lighter. When the flames die down, stir to loosen any browned bits on the bottom of the skillet; pour over shrimp.

    Place the serving dish of shrimp in a preheated broiler for about 2 minutes.